Self-Worth Doesn't Require Net Worth

For the past two weeks, I have been "unemployed," and not for the first time in my life. This term is a misnomer, of course. In effect it means I'm not getting paid to do work, but it doesn't mean I'm not working without getting paid. Since the start of 2025, I've attended hours of rehearsal for a show I'll be performing with my collaborator this weekend, corresponded with a director whose film I'll be shooting at some as yet unspecified time in the near future, reviewed a burlesque show for an arts website, and done many other things (unenjoyable as well as enjoyable, novel as well as routine) that provide value to mine and others' lives. I have been employed, but not for the benefit of some corporation or its shareholders, so "unemployed" is the label I get.

There have been many moments that I've let this infectious Ur-capitalist logic get to me, moments when I've let it taint my confidence and make me feel "worthless." I have felt like a burden on my wife, my family, and my friends. I have had major doubts about my future in the "workforce" (how military that sounds!), doubts about myself (because our culture so deeply entwines identity with career), and doubts about society writ large (though, in all fairness, those precede my current predicament). But FUCK THAT NOISE. I won't submit to the toxic idea that I have to "earn" a living, to earn the right to be alive. I will live as long as I value myself, and I value myself enough that I will beg, borrow, or steal to stay alive if I have to.

You know what has market value? Bombs that kill women in children in Palestine and Ukraine and elsewhere around the world. Insurance companies that deny healthcare coverage to dying people in our own country, that undervalue the losses of families who have lost everything to climate catastrophes. Companies manufacturing forever chemicals that cause cancer and disrupt the endocrine systems of humans and other animals. Cults that profit off of their members and avoid paying taxes because they hide behind religious masks. Endless advertisements that urge us to feel like we're missing things we don't really need. Content designed to enrage and divide and pit people against each other. Pharmaceutical opioids that are more addictive and more deadly than any kind of medicine found in nature. Geriatric politicians who get away with insider trading and receive massive kickbacks from lobbyists. Cops who kill unarmed civilians and are rewarded with paid leave. Prisons that profit off of the labor of prisoners who are routinely dehumanized, beaten, and/or raped.

So what I don't have market value? Good fucking riddance! I have a value, and so many values, that are entirely independent of "the market." Thank god for that.